Listen Carefully as Our Menu Has Recently Changed

LISTEN. CAREFULLY. AS. OUR. MENU. HAS. RECENTLY. CHANGED. I. recently made a call to my insurance company. While I had a rather simple question to ask, the possibility of asking that question quickly went from simple, to complicated, ...


Author: Roger Dale Loring

Publisher: Bublish, Inc.

ISBN: 9781647043322

Category: Humor


View: 885

Filled to the brim with humor and relatable musings, Roger Loring offers his Baby Boomer perspective on a variety of issues: Passing Laws in Congress: There are over 200 committees in Congress. There are conference committees, interim committees, joint committees, sub-committees, and of course, each chamber has a float and a prom committee. Growing up in Iowa: Parents in other parts of the country get excited when their child first says “mama” or “dada.” In Iowa, parental hearts best faster if a child’s first word is “corn.” And they feel greatly blessed if the child’s first word is “ethanol.” Social Media: Mark Zuckerberg came up with the idea for Facebook when he was a student at Harvard, proving once and for all that not every student at the prestigious Ivy League college is a dumb jock. Connecting with friends: Instead of texting, older people feel sending a note written in cursive is just fine. While younger people may have a bit of an understanding about sending notes, they have absolutely no understanding of cursive. Viewing a Picasso Painting: Part of the painting shows various female body parts arranged in such a way that the purpose seems to be to just fill up space. It is not an erotic painting in that—unlike a Playmate of the Month centerfold—it is difficult to recognize the various body parts. I could be completely wrong about all of this and it is a painting of Legos. Running a Marathon: When I sit on my porch and walkers come by, I wave and think to myself, better you than me, but when runners come by, I immediately go inside and organize all of my ties by color, width, and type of stains on each.

Fake It

Do whatever will amuse you while you deal with Ms. Roberta Robot and her warning to, “Please listen carefully, as our menu options have recently changed.” Whatever, Roberta, you've been saying that for years now! I know that trick!


Author: Jennifer Byrne

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 9781440543647

Category: Self-Help

Page: 256

View: 237

No one is perfect—but everyone can fake it Let's get real. At one point or another, every woman has had to fake it—how else would we get everything done in a mere twenty-four hours? Fake It makes all those time-sucking tasks—such as doing the laundry, baking a homemade dessert for a school fundraiser, and maintaining a socially acceptable level of personal hygiene—seem effortless. With more than 100 shortcuts and wonderfully constructed white lies, you'll be able to fake it all, including: An immaculate bathroom when the in-laws visit Flawless skin for that big night out Liking a crappy dinner at a friend's house A tidy car on carpool day Knowing the answer to your client's question And yes, of course, faking an orgasm So whether you're asked for your opinion about a stomach-turning outfit, really not feeling it in bed, or just too tired to clean the house, Fake It will give you the foolproof advice you need to get through all of life's situations.

Conversational AI

Please listen carefully as our menu options have recently changed. For appointments press 1." That's a lot of text. At least I managed to scroll to the end. Will that phone robot ever shut up? My ear is getting sore.


Author: Andrew Freed

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 9781638351009

Category: Computers

Page: 318

View: 212

"A thorough guide to the entire process of designing and implementing virtual assistants. Goes way beyond the technicalities." - Maxim Volgin, KLM Design, develop, and deploy human-like AI solutions that chat with your customers, solve their problems, and streamline your support services. In Conversational AI, you will learn how to: Pick the right AI assistant type and channel for your needs Write dialog with intentional tone and specificity Train your AI’s classifier from the ground up Create question-and-direct-response AI assistants Design and optimize a process flow for web and voice Test your assistant’s accuracy and plan out improvements Conversational AI: Chatbots that work teaches you to create the kind of AI-enabled assistants that are revolutionizing the customer service industry. You’ll learn to build effective conversational AI that can automate common inquiries and easily address your customers' most common problems. This engaging and entertaining book delivers the essential technical and creative skills for designing successful AI solutions, from coding process flows and training machine learning, to improving your written dialog. Purchase of the print book includes a free eBook in PDF, Kindle, and ePub formats from Manning Publications. About the technology Create AI-driven chatbots and other intelligent agents that humans actually enjoy talking to! Adding intelligence to automated response systems saves time and money for you and your customers. Conversational AI systems excel at routine tasks such as answering common questions, classifying issues, and routing customers to the appropriate human staff. This book will show you how to build effective, production-ready AI assistants. About the book Conversational AI is a guide to creating AI-driven voice and text agents for customer support and other conversational tasks. This practical and entertaining book combines design theory with techniques for building and training AI systems. In it, you’ll learn how to find training data, assess performance, and write dialog that sounds human. You’ll go from building simple chatbots to designing the voice assistant for a complete call center. What's inside Pick the right AI for your needs Train your AI classifier Create question-and-direct-response assistants Design and optimize a process flow About the reader For software developers. Examples use Watson Assistant and Python. About the author Andrew R. Freed is a Master Inventor and Senior Technical Staff Member at IBM. He has worked in AI solutions since 2012. Table of Contents PART 1 FOUNDATIONS 1 Introduction to conversational AI 2 Building your first conversational AI PART 2 DESIGNING FOR SUCCESS 3 Designing effective processes 4 Designing effective dialogue 5 Building a successful AI assistant PART 3 TRAINING AND TESTING 6 Training your assistant 7 How accurate is your assistant? 8 Testing your dialogue flows PART 4 MAINTENANCE 9 Deployment and management 10 Improving your assistant PART 5 ADVANCED/OPTIONAL TOPICS 11 Building your own classifier 12 Additional training for voice assistants

CRM in Action

Card Company: Please listen carefully as our menu has recently been changed. To report a stolen or lost card, press 1. To enquire about your account, press 2. To apply for a companion card, press 3. To hear about our latest promotion, ...


Author: Dr. Ken K. Wong

Publisher: iUniverse

ISBN: 1450279899

Category: Business & Economics

Page: 116

View: 498

Written in Dr. Wong’s vivid and interesting style, and furnished with real-life examples from Canada, this book helps marketers to generate greater customer value by making good use of market segmentation, product differentiation, and customer retention strategies. Advance Praise for CRM in Action “This book helped me a lot in figuring out how to attract the right customers who can see real value in our healthcare services and retain them. It is a lot of planning and thinking behind this seemingly simple task, and this book guides you all the way with simple language and a lot of illustrative examples.” —Ekaterina Leonova, Sweden “Readers will gather from Dr Wong’s experience after reading the book because he reveals common traps and pitfalls, and gives advice on self-check questions on how to overcome them or bypass them altogether. This book should give you an excellent start in your CRM initiative.” —Hoo Chee Wai, Singapore

Waiting For Service

An Insider's account of Why Customer Service is Broken + Tips to avoid bad service Amas Tenumah ... You call a 1-800 #, and it starts with “please listen carefully, our menu has recently changed.” It hasn't.


Author: Amas Tenumah

Publisher: Bien Publishing

ISBN: 9780578256436

Category: Business & Economics


View: 387

You hate waiting in line or on the phone for customer service. There have been plenty of books about customer service, that all seem to offer "secrets" to improve customer service. This is not that book. I instead want to focus on Why customer Service is so broken and give you the secrets to get around it. Customer service is bad by design. Your bad customer service is not random, it is intentional. Customer Service is universally terrible, this is not an opinion. You do not have to believe me, I am saying it is raining outside and you can simply look out the window. I spent two decades helping dozens of your favorite brands with customer service. You will laugh, get mad all over again at some of the conversations I have had with executives around customer service. I name names, expose Customer Service nightmares from Travel, to Cable, Walmart, fast food and so much. I also provide you with how to get around bad service and offer radical thinking to reset customer service.

Between Rock and Hard Places

Of course I was instructed to listen carefully to the entire recording “as our menu has recently changed” and I didn't know the extension of “the person I wish(ed) to speak with.” Instead, I hit 0 and got Heather, who connected me with ...


Author: Stephen Metzger

Publisher: Stansbury Publishing

ISBN: 9781935807612

Category: Fiction

Page: 188

View: 260

Jim Rooney has just finished his memoir about his days as a drummer for the Johnny Sands Band, a hugely popular 1970s American rock group, when he dies in a suspicious car crash. His widow suspects he was murdered, in part because all traces of the manuscript have disappeared, and hires private investigator Mike McMahon, who moonlights as a junior college instructor teaching a class in in the history of rock 'n' roll, to look into it. McMahon is torn between his commitment to the case and his commitment to his on-again off-again girlfriend, Becka Goldberg, professor of Anglo-Saxon literature at San Francisco State. Ultimately, McMahon uncovers the truth behind the band's untimely end, a result of the death of its front man in a plane crash the night of what turned out to be their final concert, all of which would have been part of Rooney's memoir.


Thank you for calling technical support for your Seed device. Please listen carefully, as our menu options have recently changed. Please hold. An operator will be with you shortly. Please note that, for training purposes, your call may ...


Author: Elizabeth Tan

Publisher: Xou Pty Ltd

ISBN: 9781925143485

Category: Fiction

Page: 336

View: 553


Listen Carefully . . . There Have Been Recent Changes to Our Menu We the people Are no longer In control Of our own destiny . . . so what ever happened to that grand notion of forming a more perfect union?


Author: Randall C. Von Hartman

Publisher: Xlibris Corporation

ISBN: 9781469120980

Category: Poetry

Page: 142

View: 494

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Taming HAL

baffled by what you get (how come only the first visitor has been saved?) ... walkin interfaces when we buy bus tickets, pay for parking, and call up customer service (''listen carefully as our menu selections have recently changed'').


Author: A. Degani

Publisher: Springer

ISBN: 9781403982520

Category: Technology & Engineering

Page: 312

View: 329

This book is an exploration of interaction between humans, computers and automated machines and why they frequently go awry, sometimes with disastrous consequences. The book lays out a clear foundation for evaluating interactions between users and machines, showing the reader how to describe, analyze and quickly identify potential design problems. The insights and methodologies provided allow the reader to understand the root human-interaction problems in modern systems, improve the usability of new user interfaces, and, the author hopes, have a say in the design of the highly automated systems of the future.

The Best of Down Goes Brown

For service in whatever language Don Cherry is speaking, press three. You have selected English. Please listen carefully, as our menu options have recently changed: If you are a GM calling to complain about a penalty, press one.


Author: Sean McIndoe

Publisher: John Wiley & Sons

ISBN: 9781118358429

Category: Sports & Recreation

Page: 290

View: 464

The greatest hits from the world's largest—and most hilarious—hockey humour blog Hundreds of thousands of hockey fans around the world are addicted to Down Goes Brown, and with good reason: Sean McIndoe is the funniest writer in hockey. His often insightful, always entertaining posts have made the site one of the top hockey blogs in the world—and definitely the most amusing. From shrewd observations to tongue-in-cheek commentary, Down Goes Brown manages to capture the essence of hockey while exposing the frequently funny side of the sport. Now, in The Best of Down Goes Brown, McIndoe himself compiles some of the blog's best-loved posts, along with a host of all-new content, in one side-splitting volume. Packed with fan favourites, including The Code: Hockey's Unwritten Rules Revealed, The official map of an NHL rink, A complete transcript of every NHL game ever broadcast, What an official NHL trade call really sounds like, An NHLer’s guide to never saying anything interesting, The other former NHL stars who interviewed for Colin Campbell’s job, and more, many of which have become so ubiquitous that readers who have never even heard of Down Goes Brown know them by heart, the book is the ultimate gift book for hockey fans everywhere. Brings together dozens of the funniest articles from the premier hockey humour blog Includes the hugely popular viral hit, "The NHL's Top Secret Flowchart For Handing Out Suspensions,” and many other legendary posts Features exclusive, never before seen content not available online Sure to hit hockey fans right on the funny bone, The Best of Down Goes Brown is the ultimate anthology of the very funniest writing from the world's largest hockey humour blog.